Um…well here goes. This week’s news flash is just a teensy bit embarrassing. As the two people who actually read this blog know, I sleep talk, and sleep walk, and sleep scream, and occasionally sleep sprint. I’m afraid that I must add one more ability to my repitroire of sleep activities. I’m not sure whether to call it a “Sleep Leap” or a “Sleep Alias.” But here is the sordid tale.
The Hunky Hubby and I finally got around to renting the 5th season of Alias from our library. I own the first four but we had neglected to purchase the 5th. There is this scene where a freakish psychiatrist is hypnotizing Sydney to get information. Well of course I began having a recurring dream where someone wanted me to say something and then I would say it and wake up all disoriented and realize that I was not Sydney Bristow and couldn’t actually leap from skyscrapers and repel downwards while taking quality photos of evil businessmen.
Well my recurring dream culminated with the request to leap out of my new king sized bed in one mighty jump and land in the teensy weensy space between the bed and the dresser. Unfortunately I did not awaken in time to realize that my spy and leaping abilities are actually quite limited. The hunky hubby entered our room in time to see me crouched in the middle of our enormous bed looking wary and spy-like. Then I made this grand leap of doom straight off our bed. Yes indeed, step aside Sydney I did it. I landed in that teeny walkway and I didn’t fall or break a bone, not even a single shattered candle. The Hunky Hubby was awestruck. Of course I did smash into my dresser and garner an enormous black bruise on my hip that hurts whenever I move. But really I feel that my “Sleep Alias” was mostly successful. However, I am praying that someday I will be blessed with calm human sleep patterns like every other mother of three on this planet. Perhaps next year.